How I Became Me

Yup, that title sure does simplify it LOL

As I was explaining to my spiritual director that my father raised me since age 12, he asks me, “Where did you learn that stuff about womanhood?” This took me awhile to respond…I was kinda just confused with myself. I thought, “Yeah, where the HECK did I learn this stuff? How in the world did I turn out like me & still have no idea how I got to this point?”

I just looked at him and shrugged my shoulders with a blank stare. I proceeded to explain that I grew up with all dudes, but my father did a phenomenal job of playing both parenting roles. BUT STILL! Where in the world did all that femininity stuff come from?!

My spiritual director was nowhere near as dumb founded as me. He simply points at the statue of Mother Mary beside his desk and said, “Mary Reveals True Femininity.”

OKAYYY WOW MIND BLOWN. HOW DID I NOT REALIZE THIS BEFORE! This entire time it was her…just quietly working her booty off in the background of my life.  She is the epitome of the perfect role model for women.

No, she couldn’t help pick out my first bra or shop for my prom dress, but she was always there guiding me. She fed me confidence, taught me how to dress, how respect my body, talk to boys, form faithful friendships, move through life with grace and humility (at least strive to), listen to the Lord, & to just be a GIRL BOSS! Her presence has become so incredibly evident throughout the past year, I really don’t know why this didn’t dawn on me before. Apparently, I just had a lifetime of blonde moments up until this year LOL. 

These virtues we learn from Mother Mary are truly lessons that God taught her in the silence and openness of her Immaculate Heart.

I like to take things into my own hands, just depend on myself…it’s that independence in me. This might seem like a strong suit, but it’s actually my biggest flaw. Sometimes my independence is too strong, and I totally disregard the fact that I have to depend on the Lord and His Blessed Mother.

I’ve engraved in my mind that I can’t control anything except the decisions I make, but these decisions have to be based on the path that the Lord is guiding me along. And sometimes, when you least expect it, God puts huge, obnoxious signs pointing to that glittery, yellow-brick, hard-to-miss, road…& I couldn’t be more grateful.

LIFE UPDATE:

Per usual, I was trying to control my life, go away to Benedictine College in the fall & finish my undergrad there. God knew the whole time that it was not in my plan, but he’s a funny man and likes to entertain my ideas. I should have known that when I had to relive the movie “Trains, Planes, and Automobiles” just to get from Chicago to Kansas that this was not in my blueprint.

Well of course I fell in love with the school & then the reality of loans hit & then the fear of being in debt for the rest of my life & then nobody wanting to marry me because I owe so much $$$ & then I have to put off having children and a wedding because I cant afford it…I’m sure some of you can relate to this dramatized reality. But, PRAISE TO THE BE, God sends CatholicMatch (Follow On Instagram) my way and gives me my dream job! I now work the social media for them & Elle Salon (Follow On Instagram)! Oh, and I will be finishing up my PR degree through University of North Dakota Online School! I tell ya man, things always work out.

If there is one piece of advice I could give: Share your beliefs OPENLY with a crazy amount of authentic JOY for what you believe in. Spreading God’s love on Instagram has given me my career and so many amazing friends.

How the heck did I get here? Well…my father & of course #thanksMary

OUTFIT: SHOES ⎢⎢Dress in WHITE  ⎢⎢ BLACK (L) ⎢⎢ BLACK (M) ⎢⎢ BLACK (S)

With so much love,

Cecilia Jean

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Someone’s random car & he came out of his house during this pic LOL

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